When the barrier goes up...
Ok, a question for the women.
Over the weekend, Hana and I attended an arab wedding in London. MashAllah it was a very nice event. It was segregated, and in segregated event fashion, the women's side was overwhelmingly booming with bass, making it difficult to hear the lineup of sheikhs giving their khutbas on marriage on the men side. So I have heard, and now have verified through first hand account from my wife, what sort of activities go on in the woman's side. Now, it all sounds like a good ol time. But, then I hear of the kind of clothing (or lack therof) that the women wear. Basically, they go in with nikabs, but inside, it's a different story. Tube tops? Backless dresses? I have heard from other girls that people are undressed to the max. Now my question may be naive, and the answer may be very clear...but I will ask it nonetheless:
Why do the women feel that the lack of a male presence makes wearing what most people would see as indecent in public, acceptable or even desirable?
This is Hana now. I personally don't see anything wrong with going crazy in the women's side... there's nothing that says that women can't enjoy themselves and look nice in the company of other women. I had a great time at my first arab wedding. I learned two new things: the dabke (the arab-style line dancing) and the crazy arab gutteral yelling that women do when they get excited (sounds more like a war cry/hyena).
posted by Hash & Hana at 9:02 PM
12 Comments:
I just think Hash wishes he was on the other side ;)
-Your Wife
Hana, you shouldnt actually be telling Hash this stuff. He doesnt need to know. What sisters do on 'their' side is to remain with the sisters. It shouldnt be discussed with men.
Hash: Women can do whatever they want as long as its within the Hudud of Islam. However, agreed, just because its an 'all-girls' event, women should dress appropriately and cover their awrah and dress modestly. There should be a level of decency, even when amongst women only.
I didn't tell Hash anything.. he already knows about what goes on. (Plus, I think the men could hear the women shouting.) I understand it's totally wrong for women to tell what other women do at womens-only events.. so yeah, he didn't hear it from me!
-Hana
A clarification. The years that I was in London, I attended several weddings, and it was through hearsay that I found out about what generally goes on. I did not get any specifics. Commenting on specifics is akin to sharing pictures, and that is just wrong.
I asked Hana if in general that is what happens on the female side, and she said that it was. No single persons were identified, nor was anything else of a very personal nature.
I'm just bringing up the point that modesty is to be practiced both in public and in private spaces. I agree with anonymoous' point with respect to doing whatever one wants on their side. But to take it one step further, ANYONE can do WHATEVER they want, WHEREVER they want...as long as it is within the specified limits of our deen. This is not unique to women in a women's section, or men in a men's section. Modesty is modesty is modesty.
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I have to take Hana's side on this one. The sisters who choose to dress in a certain way are not doing anyone else harm nor are advocating that type of dress in public. They understand their limitations and deen enough that they will cover as necessary in public, but with other women they know they are free to have fun in a "hijabis gone wild" kind of sense, without anyone knowing about it. I wouldn't respect a sister any less if I saw her wearing something outrageous at a segregated event, because I know that's not her character and she's only dressing that way because she's free to do so in that environment.
aka, you know women need to watch how they dress even at women-only events? Islamically there are limitations to how women should dress infront/act of other women.
Sometimes these 'parties' can way pass the hudud of islam.
I also have to agree with Hana. Hash, you mentioned that women should dress decently in both public and private spaces. However, the definition of decency can be equated with awrah. That definition changes depending on the context. If a woman is at a women's only event, then the definition of "decency" is not what you think it might be and she has a lot more freedom in terms of the way she dresses. Those are my two cents.
salam alaikum
i agree with the statement "modesty is to be practised in both public and private spaces."
besides the point that even among women, a woman must cover her awrah properly, with all the noise (music?) going on, surely there are other creatures around that are not visible to us and yet they see us?
ie. jinns / shaytaan ?
Bottom Line: Don't tell your hubby what goes around on the women's side (Even answering to his simple "yes" and "no" questions"). Its quite disrespectful to the ladies.
im a first time reader of this blog, and i just have to say, that ladies can do wahtever they want, as long it doesnt cross the boundries of Islam law. women who cover their awrah, may very well wear nice dresses as their intentions arent to look indecent or provocative, but rather just to have fun and dress in a way they cannot infront of the males, as THAT
would then be islamically wrong. so yea, i mean if ones within the boundries of islam, let ppl have fun and enjoy themselves. dont be a hater. it jus sucks for everyone else. and as far as modesty is concerned, well that's something more personal and from within. so its best not to bring modesty in between a gathering of girls getting together and having fun. my apologies if i offended anyone. this is said with all due respect to everyone. jazakum-allah khairun.
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